Hello

Well hello. Here we are again, back to blogging. I suppose this is more appropriate than spilling my whole life to 300 people on Facebook but sometimes a girl needs that validation. I digress.

The real reason I started this is when I am having deep thoughts or deep conversations with someone that isn’t my therapist I can jot them down. And actually have something to talk about in therapy. 

Today the whole way I was driving to town this afternoon I was thinking what would happen if my Mom got murdered. What would I say? What would I do? It’s not like I have any desire for her to be murdered in fact it would devastate me to the core, it’s just shit I think about. Like something to prepared for. It’s kinda sick that the things I can prepare for I don’t, and things I can’t realistically prepare for have a 10 step “plan” 

I’m wavering in and out of trying to find another job. Everytime I think of interviewing again I get a little woozy. The failed CVS adventure was enough to shatter my whole confidence with joining the working world. Idk what I expected, but that wasn’t it. It makes me sad because I actually had a long term goal ahead of what I wanted to do. If I think about it too much I’ll go down a rabbit hole of all my failed attempts at making a better life for myself and I’ll cry. Maybe I need to. Maybe it’s something to talk about, but not today. 

My goal for this is to write 7 entries between two week therapy sessions. If I try to force it every day I will most certainly fail. 

Onward. 

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